Some of my favourite sketches from the US...   And more....   And more...   And yet more...   And yet more...   And yet more...   And more again...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And more again...   And a bit more...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And more...   And a little bit more...   And just one last one...  

£6bn - Cost of the Eurofighter deal that Saudi Arabia allegedly threatened to withdraw from in 2006 if a corruption probe in the UK continued.

5,000 direct, 50,000 indirect - Estimated total jobs that the Eurofighter deal will bring to the UK.

£4.5bn - Estimated UK expenditure on the Iraq War.

60,000 - Estimated total number of civilian casulaties as a result of the UK/US Invasion of Iraq in order to bring Saddam Hussein et al to justice for crimes against humanity.

The "Al Yamamah" deal involving BAE has been a 20-year trade of massive military arms stocks to Saudia Arabia for 600,000 barrels of oil per day to the UK. The National Audit Office's report into alleged bribery has never been released - the only NAO report to be held back from the public domain. On 14th December 2006, the investigation was stopped, apparently after the Saudis threatened to take the lucrative deal to the French or the Americans. The UK Attorney General cited the need to "balance the need to maintain the rule of law against the wider public interest". Tony Blair effectively said that the investigation could not be continued because it threatened UK-Saudi relations which are "vitally important for our country in terms of counter-terrorism, in terms of the broader Middle East, in terms of helping in respect of Israel and Palestine. That strategic interest comes first."

Saudia Arabia has one of the worst human rights records in the region. There is no written penal code, and judges have full powers to impose sentences of flogging, amputation and decapitation for "crimes" such as drinking, homosexuality and non-Islamic religious worship.

After an amusing conversation with Kirma/Emsty (a plurality of incredibly complexity), I have come to the conlcusion that my English tutor was right - text is inherently instable! It's amazing how complicated life becomes when speaker and voice is confused in conversation.

I may write more, but at the moment I am too inebriated with madness to figure this anomaly out...

    Anyone who has seen my MSN nickname in the last few weeks might just have gathered that my computer has been less than good...

    Actually, it's been very very bad, and has not at all behaved itself. My hard drive (after going for rugby scrum training courtesy of the people who shipped it out to Northern Ireland) had not been at its best, and gave up the ghost last week. So I've spent the weekend trying to get back my stuff, my music and my documents, have had to order a new copy of Office (ouch), and am now trying to work out exactly how I'll get two essays done without any programs that can write documents... (Jim: Judging by the Northern Ireland Post Office's previous record, I'd say that you'll have been able to finish engraving your essay into granite before it arrives).

    Anyway, it wasn't my intention to moan on about my woes. In fact, let's be frank (Frank: No let's not), it strikes me as being wholly disproportionate and self-absorbed to seriously moan about the loss of a load of strings of 0s and 1s. When I switch on the news or listen to the radio, a cacophonous wave of human suffering becomes apparent, amidst which my computer troubles are hardly a colossus of woe. I had been worrying about it for almost a week (I had prior warning and was hoping to be able to do a direct copy of my hard drive), yet curiously, when I finally lost the stuff, I wasn't that cut up. On the contrary, I felt irritated not at what I'd lost but the grossly stupid amounts of time that I'd lavished on it. I guess it was a great thing to happen in one way, because it made me realise how much everything ended up revolving around my computer.

    I voluntarily left it switched off for a week whilst waiting for parts to arrive (in a now-pointless attempt to prevent it from going before I could do a full-backup), and within less than 24 hours I was thinking; "Oh, I'll just go and look up that website, or I'll just run off a copy of these notes - hang on, I can't". It made me realise how much computers are part of modern life (Jim: And you're even worse than 'modern life') and how little I do without involving technology at some level. It's made even scarier because I can easily remember a time before the internet, and before I had a computer. I think I played outside or something like that...

    I'm not in any sense trying to suggest a return to pre-internet, or the burning of PCs, but it is sometimes interesting to stop and look around you to see what's different. I can't help but feel that the main effect of computers, 24-7 news and constantly updated information has been to screw with my perspectives and sense of proportionality. It's not that they're inherently bad in themselves, but I have got the impression from my recent experiences that I at least, have managed to forget that there are things that rapid information cannot convey. Even if PCs one day include full support for five-senses simulation, there will still be a credible argument for ditching the hardware every once in a while and walking the world for yourself (albeit at a much slower pace).

    Do I sound middle aged now?

    That's worrying...